He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
