So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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