I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
