i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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