I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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