I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
