What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
