that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
