im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
