My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
