You can't special order awesome
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
