But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
