but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
