Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
