Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
