Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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