Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
