If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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