As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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