I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
