I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
