Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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