You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
