I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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