I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
