Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
