piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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