I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
