I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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