i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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