dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize