i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
