doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
