Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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