Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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