Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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