sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
