That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
