Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
