My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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