Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
