it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
