I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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