I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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