we made out on top of his cat.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
