I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
