Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
