she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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