You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
