Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
