Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
