He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
